Ask questions to find out what you both have in common. In a fight to the death, when your aim is the taking of the life of another human being, the idea of there even being such a thing as a 'crime' or 'justice' in that context is seemingly absurd. Do not say someone looks unwell, sick, or tired. Meeting management Make Your Meetings a Safe Space for Honest Conversation by Paul Axtell April 11, 2019 Digital Vision/Getty Images Summary. Most important, recognize the assumptions hidden in your undiscussibles. Direct your comments to the group as a whole, rather than to any one individual. Straight Talk Coaching - Work with our consulting team to use Straight Talk to Improve inter-divisional communication, the quality of meetings, and decision-making. If you ask how someones children are, dont jump in with your family health before she has answered. Author: Lisa Hinz, Extension educator, leadership and civic engagement. Can you explain your reasoning?If you find the process frustrating, ask for help. Yes, You Should Reach Out to That Friend Youve Been Thinking About, Do Not Sell My Personal Information CA Residents. It lets people know were open to letting our reasoning be tested and probed. If someone challenges our views, it is ingrained in us to respond defensively, to challenge the other persons ability to see things clearly. First, each participant must know his or her style. If the group meets multiple times, repost rules at each meeting to orient new participants and remind others. How you frame this challenge is vitally important. Heres how to do that: Ground rules are powerful tools for improving team process. Begin typing your search above and press return to search. In so doing, we shift the focus from the issue to the person and in so doing tread over this ground rule. How in the world did you reach that conclusion? isnt genuine inquiry. Behavioral ground rules are more useful. 2. Honest communication is a skill to be developed. Instead, we engage in a kind of circular logic in which we make an assumption and then draw a conclusion based on it. Subscribe to receive the PDF downloadand future updates! Establish ground rules beforehand to avoid distractions and disagreements. Take five minutes at the end of each team meeting to discuss where you used the ground rules well and where you can improve. During the invasion of Ukraine, we have heard frequently terms like 'war crime' and 'just war'. Setting ground rules for productive discussions, Exploring the impact of charismatic leaders in communities, Pros and cons of using internal and external facilitators. Second, this rule enables people to admit that certain topics are difficult. His first book, Straight Talk teaches you how to identify your own communication style and that of others, and how to modify your style for strategic results. Do not talk about cheese when the moon would be a more fitting topic. Also, dont discount the appropriateness of silence. Don't sidetrack. The group's agreement allows the leader or a group member to directly address an issue when a ground rule is not followed. Follow these timeless tips for being a good conversationalist from The Art of Conversation. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Straight Talk Survey - Take the survey to discover your communication style. The biggest part of candor is the willingness to knock on the door and begin a conversation. Ground rules for public participation. To make sure things go smoothly, agree on a code of conduct with your counterpart beforehand. Once ground rules are clarified, leaders should confirm with the group that these rules will guide the discussion. Remember the goal. This rule seems obvious. Build trust and a sense of safety among group participants. Of all the ground rules, this sixth one is the most easily violated. Examples of behavioral ground rules include "make statements and ask. A genuine display of curiosity creates an environment of constructive communication. If you want your team to be effective, you need meeting ground rules and you need agreement about how to use them. 1. They describe specific actions that team members should take to act effectively. In so doing, it leads the group toward agreements about data, away from assumptions. Disagree with ideas, not people. The University of Minnesota is an equal opportunity educator and employer. If you test your assumption by bringing it into the open, youre likely to find that people feel relieved to have a chance to talk about it. It causes them to look at their own. Each small group should set its own ground rules during its first class meeting. Eg: Phones on/off. The complete guide to facilitation. Dont ask another question before the first one has been answered. We recommend our users to update the browser. Meeting ground rules are a set of guidelines that participants in a meeting agree to follow in order to ensure that the meeting is effective and efficient. 2. For more than 20 years, Eric has successfully helped a wide array of government agencies, nonprofit organizations, and corporations achieve breakthroughs in performance. 1: There are different types of ground rules. Draw the persons interests out and dont hinge the conversation on politics when it should be on potatoes or on poetry.. It is obligatory, given the goal of straight talk, to bring these conversations into the room. Download the PDF Ground Rules for Productive Meetings Related Post When Ground Rules Arent Enough. Justice, T., and Jamieson, D. (1998). The group may wish to discuss before deciding whether they agree to abide by additional ground rules. There are two parts to this rule: Talking about styles of communication is an excellent ice-breaker. (Those are basics, yes, but. (Share this on Twitter) Dont hint at it either by asking if she had a long night. Conversation ground rules: Before beginning a dialogue, it is helpful to establish ground rules that the group collectively agrees to follow. Engage in Dialogue Not Debate When we debate, we assume that there is a "right" answer, and we tend to focus on "winning." Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Conversation ground rules can be found here. While many public organizations use parliamentary procedure as a form of ground rules, such formal rules may not be sufficient or appropriate for guiding public discussion. var _ctct_m = "20dc9acbbb159cf7b9499c45d801ca78"; This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged. Be brief in your comments so that all who wish to speak have a chance to express their views. You can increase the freedom, candor, and quality. I know Im not capable of seeing everything. Ground rules are powerful tools for improving team process. Straight Talk Book - Read the book to get the exercises and real-life case studies. Remember silence is an option. Unfortunately, its easy to say, hard to do. For some, the idea of ground rules feels childishwhy should adults need rules for how to talk with one another? You are inserting unnecessary details into the persons story. Participants in a discussion need to be scrupulous in policing against side conversations. These ground rules need not be used in all meeting or communications. Ground rules can include how much time each participant is allowed to speak, whether or not laptops or other electronics are allowed, or whether or not side conversations are allowed. Think about how easily conversations can get off track because of loaded terms and labels. Your challenge is to create open and productive discussions where people feel safe sharing their experiences and perspectives, and are receptive to learning. If you are overly emotional with anger and resentment in your voice, they won't hear your message because your emotions will be the focus. In an individual conversation, the ground rules are read by the facilitator and all are asked to affirm. It helps to analyze the data missing from a conversation. Begin with courtesy. Start with the ground rules for participants, and then ask participants to add their own ideas. Eric Douglas is the senior partner and founder of Leading Resources Inc., a consulting firm that focuses on developing high-performing organizations. Side conversations are clearly aimed at something else. Ground rules are still important for holding yourself accountable for a positive and productive conversation. Accept the fact that you won't always say the right thing. Remember, you cant have straight talk until you agree on what words mean. Adhering to it leads to straight talk. You want to engage the person in talking about the problem. Each rule works in conjunction with the others. The problem is something they have. Lesson 30: Resolving Conflicts with Straight Talk, Conflict Resolution: Resolving Conflicts with Straight Talk, Setting Ground Rules | 11 Proven Ground Rules for Meetings, Permit one speaker at a time (avoid side conversations), Bring issues to the table (avoid back room discussions), Explain the reasoning leading to your conclusions. Avoid finger-pointing, whether blaming or literally pointing fingers. For example, research has identified three results that all leadership teams need to achieve: strong performance, positive working relationships, and individual well-being. (2001). The eleventh ground rule captures the essence of this tool. Say the right thing, or say nothing.. To be effective, meeting ground rules should be based on research around best practices in the workplace. 9. 4. This post laid out the eleven ground rules in detail. Synod Examen Prayer: In a large assembly, the main facilitator . There are no shortcuts to defining key terms. But the more they are built into an organizations culture, the more that culture will shift from defending to learning and the more capable it will be of marshaling its collective knowledge into a powerful strategy. learning. Using exercises, surveys, and real-life case studies, Straight Talk helps solve today's most urgent organizational dilemmas. But maybe not. 1. Don't let disagreements or conflicting views become personal. Rules of Engagement 1. What Is a Friendship Recession and Why Are We Currently In One? Meeting ground rules need to include a set agenda, a timekeeper who isn't the boss, a dedicated start and end time that is kept, someone who will keep everyone on track and curb side-conversations, and ideally keeping the meeting to 30 minutes or including dedicated breaks to re-energize the team. The goal of Ground Rules for Continuing Courageous Conversations is to be able to have a conversation about race without excessive fear of being labeled racist, biased or bigoted, to avoid blaming or being blamed, and to avoid discounting or invalidating the experiences and feelings of others. The conversation should be in harmony with the surroundings. Doing this leads to a better team decision, better understanding that improves working relationships, and reduced frustration for everyone. In a controversial conversation, it's important to empathize and it's also important to communicate that connection to the other person. Straight talk occurs when people invite inquiry. Theres an obvious synergy between these last two rules. (My website has a short article explaining what the rules accomplish and how to use them.). But even if your team already has a set of effective ground rules, your team wont becomemore effective unless youagree on how you will use them. Some suggestions for ground rules include: Be aware of how much space you take up in the conversation and especially how that intersects with your privileged identities; share the air time with others. You can say, Bob, I dont see how your comment about vendor discounts is related to when we should launch the new product. It enables people to introduce an issue by saying: This is a back room conversation that Im bringing up here, because weve agreed to do so. Ground rules, sometimes called group agreements, are a list of terms that participants agree to followand the facilitator agrees to upholdduring a conversation. This is one rule that everyone must adhere to or no one will. Reading and Affirming Ground Rules 3 mins 4. Too high a price is asked for harmony; its beyond our means to pay so much to enter on it. Fedor Dostoevski, The Brothers Karamazov (1880). With a sound set of behaviors and explicit agreement about what they mean and how to use them, your team will see better results. For some group members, acting respectfully means not raising any concerns about individual members in the group; for other members it may mean the opposite. This tends to make the other person (s) feel that he or she is being lectured or put down. First, here are the eleven ground rules again: The first ground rule is to review each others styleof communication. There are two different types of ground rules in this packet. Nor is the price too high. Guide for Setting Ground Rules. This ground rule is dependent on making sure that everyone understands three things: The beauty of this process is that it enables everyone to track the logical thread of the discussion, even while its focus shifts. Can someone help me understand it? That allows the conversation to shift from you to someone else. It enables people to examine your assumptions. But many ground rules undermine one or more of these results. Use ground rules to ensure a successful conversation program. Departing from it can cause communications to break down in a hurry. The goal of straight talk is to increase understanding among all participants. The goal of these conversations is to move people into awareness and consciousness with hopes that deeper understanding and empathy leads to a commitment to change thoughts and behaviors. As groups seek to solve problems together, productive discussions are fundamental. Can you help me understand the connection, or, if its not related, can we figure out if and when we should address your topic? Saying this enables you to quickly test your inference that Bobs comment isnt related. Because we dont challenge the way we think, we dont develop the muscles that allow us to have productive dialogues. Assume Positive Intent Start every conversation by assuming that others have positive intentions. The tendency to accept our conclusions on their face to not challenge our reasoning is one of the root causes of miscommunication. Having nine or fewer ground rules helps the group more easily remember and support them. Once youve flagged the missing data, prioritize which data is most important. People respond to the behavior of those around them. Do not interrupt another while he is speaking. Effective ground rules help: Encourage respectful listening; Increase participation and the sharing of ideas and perspectives; Promote openness to points of view and increase learning; Prevent conflict and misunderstanding; Manage problems before and as they occur; and Build trust and a sense of safety among group participants. Jesus shows us a better way that enables us to love our neighbor with integrity. People should be able to mark the end of one discussion, and the beginning of another. 1. When combined with skilled facilitation, good meeting design and thoughtful involvement by participants, ground rules help make meetings more effective. What is the focus of the current discussion? Do not contradict, especially if its not important. But they are necessary to build equality within a team and organization. Eric Douglas is the senior partner and founder of Leading Resources, Inc., a consulting firm that focuses on developing high-performing organizations. Conversation Ground Rules (Infographic) Oct 17, 2016 English Work of any kind requires communicationand you may need to broach difficult subjects. Avoid name-calling, yelling,. Could we have one speaker at a time? is a good, gentle reminder when people are in violation of this rule. Usually this takes about [], [] The Eleven Ground Rules on November 7, 2018 at 1:16 am []. 2. by following some fundamental ground rules for all conversations whether with colleagues, in a team, or in larger group settings.1 BE OPEN, TRANSPARENT, AND WILLING TO ADMIT MISTAKES. Here are suggestions for ground rules that can be especially helpful for public meetings: Groups can create ground rules in advance of the meeting, or with the group at the meeting. Discuss how you are using the ground rules and how to improve. We are no longer supporting IE (Internet Explorer) as we strive to provide site experiences for browsers that support new web standards and security practices. But having rules in place that you consistently enforce can significantly improve how your team solves problems and makes decisions. 5 Ground Rules: 1. Assume the best intentions. 2. What is said in the room stays in the room. At a minimum, suggest no interrupting, no yelling, and no personal attacks. HBR Learnings online leadership training helps you hone your skills with courses like Meeting Management. Don't be afraid to ask questions. It says, in essence, I might not see this clearly. If you find yourself having these conversations outside the team, you're not building a better team. If so, the additional ground rules should be written out for everyone to see. Practice, practice, practice. You'll also receive the PDF: "10 Tips to Improve Your Communication", 3: First Steps to Effective Communication, 9: How to Modify Your Communication Style, 10: Five Trends in Workplace Communication, 15: The Habits of Highly Effective Facilitators, 20: Understanding Organizational Cultures, 21: Communication Styles at Work in Others, 22: Using Straight Talk to Balance Your AQ and EQ, 23: Zeroing In On Your Own Communication Style, 24: It All Starts With Communication Styles, 25: The Language of Each Communication Style, 26: 10 Straight Talk Graphics About Communication Styles, 28: The Tools of Productive Communication, 31: Resolving Conflicts with Straight Talk. Whenever this happens, the conversation should be placed on pause until everyone agrees on the definition or agrees that the word or phrase is too loaded to be used at all. Everyone involved should be sitting or standing so you're at the same eye level. They describe specific actions that team members should take to act effectively. The more you inquire into your own views, the more you encourage other people to feel comfortable when someone probes their assumptions. Dont always be the hero of your story, however, the story should have a hero. St. Paul, MN: University of Minnesota Extension. A more productive way to deal with this situation is to have a ground rule about testing assumptions and inferences. Fact sheet. Founded in 1962, Catalyst drives change with preeminent thought leadership, actionable solutions and a galvanized community of multinational corporations to accelerate and advance women into leadershipbecause progress for women is progress for everyone. To that end, we agree to follow these ground rules: 2. One of the most important tools of straight talk is the Chain of Missing Data because it enables people to reach agreement. Your challenge is to create open and productive discussions where people feel safe sharing their experiences and perspectives, and are receptive to learning. Speak CALMLY. Regardless of the forum, conversations about diversity and inclusion can be difficult. Much of our behavior is defensive. This allows you to tune into your emotions and set aside your own assumptions or biases. Also, try to make your story short, giving the other person a chance to speak and not interrupt. Im interested in understanding your perspective more fully. Earn badges to share on LinkedIn and your resume. [] Read More:The Eleven Ground Rules [], [] Related Post The Eleven Ground Rules [], [] proposing this list of ground rules, give people time to digest them, to talk about them, to understand them. As you read about each rule, youll learn how these rules can lead to communication that is both heated and productive. Press Esc to cancel. Honest communication is a skill to be developed. The value of this ground rule is twofold: First, it forces people to recognize that some of their best and most honest communication occurs outside the room, where only friendly eyes and allies are listening. Avoid unnecessary details. Examples of behavioral ground rules include make statements and ask genuine questions and explain your reasoning and intent.. Conversation Ground Rules (Infographic) How to create open and productive discussions in which everyone feels safe sharing their experiences and perspectives. The second document "Ground Rule For Dialogue" is a general set of expectations when having a dialogue or conversation in a group. The actual definition of empathy is: the ability to understand and share the feelings of another. We live in a time when if one finds a way to say whatever is on his or her mind, it is often seen as an act of courage. Ken Macher, one of my colleagues, distills the essence of this ground rule into an epigram: Value learning over your own defending. If you remember that competence in communication is being open to other points of view, that its assuming your own viewpoint is inherently limited, that its displaying genuine curiosity about other peoples viewpoints, youll never get in trouble. You assume that by raising a delicate issue people will feel upset. St. Paul, MN: University of Minnesota Extension. For example, some teams point out when a team member is off topic by directly saying Thats off topic or by using an agreed-upon word, such as jellyfish. But all these variations of the ground rules are based on the assumption that the person calling jellyfish is correctly stating that the other person is off topic. Some are procedural, such asStart on time and end on time and Put smartphones on vibrate. Procedural ground rules are useful but dont help your team create productive behavior beyond, say,everyone being on time and having their smartphones on vibrate. These guidelines, often referred to as "ground rules" or "community norms . Start by following some fundamental ground rules for all conversationswhether with colleagues, in a team, or in larger group settings. Other ground rules are abstract, such as Treat everyone with respect and Be constructive. These rules focus on a desirable outcome but dont identify the specific behaviors that are respectful or constructive. Avoid unnecessary details. Subscribe to the Newsletter to receive the latest blog posts. Dialogue is an entry-point to move us into deeper understanding of one another and that can lead to deeper alignment. Ground rules are the guardrails that guide a strategic conversation safely home. Cant a tangential discussion actually be productive? Practice, practice, practice. Jupiterimages/Photos.com/Thinkstock Follow these timeless tips for being a good conversationalist from The Art of Conversation. Spiritual Conversations 50 mins 6. Whenever you hope to facilitate conversations on social justice concerns, whether preparing for a one-hour workshop or weaving such discussions into a year-long class, a vital first step is the development of guidelines for participation. Participants are invited to propose additional ground rules for courageous conversations. Im not comfortable doing so, but here goes. This lets people see the context of the discussion and opens the door to a constructive line of inquiry. All rights reserved. And meanwhile, the ground rule remains intact. Disagree respectfully Contribute to the conversation and make space for others. Research shows that calling out a team member can create unintended consequences if the person calling them out is wrong: The other person will keep raising the issue or will shut down for the rest of the meeting. Many teams that have ground rules dont regularly use them. Ground Rules for Dialogues In order for us to have a productive conversation, it is important that everyone participates and we set a few ground rules that will help us create a respectful learning environment where each of us G.R.O.W.S in our knowledge about diversity. Translated, it really says: You dummy, how could you possibly think that?Under the rules of straight talk, your inquiry must be framed positively. For example, if the time something happened isnt important, dont waste time getting it right. . We are no longer supporting IE (Internet Explorer), How to Wash Wool Sweaters and Blankets So You Dont Ruin Them. Contrary to what Dostoevski wrote, communication between people can be harmonious, even downright civil, even though emotions are high and differing viewpoints struggle to prevail. So long as everyone in the room understands this dynamic process, and can communicate to each other how the current topic relates to the original question and to the desired destination, then the focus is maintained. Scheffert, D., Anderson, M., Anderson, S., et al. Based on our tool,Engaging in Conversations About Gender, Race, and Ethnicity in the Workplace. The group's size and purpose can determine how ground rules are set. The resulting discussion may break a logjam thats been preventing the group from a successful dialogue. As a result, abstract rules create problems if group members have different ideas about how to act respectfully. Explain the reasoning leading to your conclusions. For example, if the time something happened isn't important, don't waste time getting it right. The principle underlying this harmony is straight talk, and the key is the eleven ground rules. Tip: TheTeam Profilecomes with an individual print-out for each member. The starting point is to flag all assumptions. The purpose of this ground rule is to give people the freedom to challenge words and phrases that seem unclear. No name calling: Do not start a difficult conversation about removing clutter by telling the person they are a slob, a packrat, a clutter collector, or worse - a hoarder. Ground rules are a short list of expectations to guide how a group works together. Furthermore, institutions like NATO are endlessly discussing the 'rules of conflict . Increase participation and the sharing of ideas and perspectives; Promote openness to points of view and increase learning; Manage problems before and as they occur; and. Your team may make a lower-quality decision because that persons contributions were not heard or because the person is not committed to implementing the decision. What is enough focus? 3. Dont sidetrack. The tenth ground rule encapsulates one of our tools Inner Scripts. Facilitation resources, volume 4: Managing group interaction. If you are genuinely committed to straight talk, your attention should be 100 percent focused on a single conversation, tracking both its content and its quality. The document "Multicultural Ground Rules For Dialogue" is effective when you are talking about diversity and or multicultural topics and issues. Regents of the University of Minnesota. Don't take it personally if the conversation is redirected. You may learn that Bob is thinking more systemically than the rest of the team and has identified an important issue that no one else thought of. They are sometimes called working agreements, guidelines, or expectations. Accept the fact that you won't always say the right thing. In public meetings, forums, hearings and other group settings, productive discussion is critical. Being PROACTIVE works best. Can you help me? you set the stage for effective communication. Take a phrase like maximizing productivity or thinking strategically. What is, after all, productivity? What is strategic thinking? Some of the best mindshave difficulty defining these terms; its no wonder that organizations stumble over them. The following ground rules have proven successful time after time. The person who contradicts, frequently restates the matter in another way.. What am I missing here? Disagreements don't happen unless both sides have some feelings about the issue. Everyone is playing by the rules. Together, they orient a groups communication toward shared learning and understanding about complex issues. These ground rules are to be used throughout all subsequent class meetings. Behavioral ground rules are more useful. Not everything is the best, the worst, or the funniest., Use the quotation for the occasion; do not make an occasion for the quotation., Do not be untruthful, but also dont feel the need to be hurtful. Naming the Graces 2 mins 7. First, here are the eleven ground rules again: Understand each other's styles Agree on the meaning of key words Tackle issues, not people Permit one speaker at a time (avoid side conversations) Bring issues to the table (avoid "back room" discussions) Keep discussions focused Explain the reasoning leading to your conclusions Boyce, K. (2002). Straight Talk Video Series - Watch the video course and share with your team. Engaging in Conversations About Gender, Race, and Ethnicity in the Workplace. Next, identify the data needed and possible sources for it. No interrupting. Access more than 40 courses trusted by Fortune 500 companies. Ground rules clarify expectations for behavior in the meeting. This may be a more comfortable setting, but its not going to increase understanding. Amherst, MA: HRD Press. I realize there are other ways of looking at it. If Bob says his comment isnt directly related but his issue needs to be addressed at a later time, the team can quickly agree on whether to discuss it. You will naturally become one if you follow the above rules. University of Minnesota Extension discovers science-based solutions, delivers practical education, and engages Minnesotans to build a better future. Synod Preparatory Examen Prayer 10 mins. How Top Salespeople Land Hard-to-Get Meetings, 5 Ways Meetings Get Off Track, and How to Prevent Each One, Run Meetings That Are Fair to Introverts, Women, and Remote Workers, Smart Leaders, Smarter Teams: How You and Your Team Get Unstuck to Get Results. The purpose of this tool is to help push ourselves closer toward the center of the circle, toward the data. This seemingly simple rule is the most important element of straight talk. How to be a confident leader. Start by following some fundamental ground rules for all conversationswhether with colleagues, in a team, or in larger group settings.1 BE OPEN, TRANSPARENT, AND WILLING TO ADMIT MISTAKES. Founded in 1962, Catalyst drives change with preeminent thought leadership, actionable solutions and a galvanized community of multinational corporations to accelerate and advance women . Post rules on a handout, table tent or flip chart so that they are readily available. What is the relevance of the current conversation to the question. Avoid finger-pointing. Side conversations are distracting; they divide the groups attention; and more often than not, they are a sign of disrespect for the process. The Ground Rules Understand each other's styles Agree on the meaning of key words Tackle issues, not people 6. conversation according to the philosophy. Each ground rule points to one of the tools or skills embodied in straight talk. Closing Prayer 2 mins. Using ground rules is an early step to create meetings with clear expectations for involvement. Work of any kind requires communicationand you may need to broach difficult subjects. G-Gain understanding clarify your understanding with questions 2022 Second, each person has to share his style with the group.. Ground rules help a group start and maintain aproductive discussion. The next tool is directly related to the Circle of Assumptions: Invite inquiry into your views. To ensure a civil conversation: Show respect for the views expressed by others, even if you strongly disagree. There is no need to distinguish between a conversation filled with passion and one filled with trust. 5. Ground rules, otherwise known as guidelines for discussion, help group members conduct civil, constructive discussions in the spirit of Christian community. Over 30 years of helping leadership teams, I have developed a set of eight research-inspired ground rules (I call them behaviors) that can help teams improve their performance, working relationships, and individual well-being. Notice how many assumptions can be resolved using the same data or the same sources of data. Getting people to divulge their Inner Scripts gets them pointed toward straight talk. Accelerate your career with Harvard ManageMentor. This rule applies to all conversations and all situations. Ground Rules. Don't ask another question before the first one has. This will do nothing to further conversation and only make the person uncomfortable. 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